Going back to a traumatic place
Welcome to another adventure in the life of Jeanine.👋🏼♥️
As you might know after spending 7 months in Mexico I’ve now landed back in the UK, did the whole quarantine thing, tested negative and now I’m officially free.🎉
I thought I had plans for this summer. Turns out they all got cancelled. And being faced with a blank canvas I decided to jump across the ocean anyway and figure it out.
Friends would ask: ‘so you’re actually choosing to leave your safe and stable family home in sunny Mexico to land once again in the unknown?!’
Yes. That would be correct.😅
Last time I was in London, I was immersed in one of the most traumatic moments of my life. Everything I knew kindda burnt to the ground so a part of me was terrified to come back. You know when you’ve had something really painful happen in a particular place and the body associates the pain with the actual physical space? Well that’s kind of how it felt.
Yet in my heart of hearts I knew I not only love the UK (it’s been my home for 5 years), but I also felt incredible healing would come from facing it and allowing myself to experience it from a different perspective.
The same happens so often in life. We’re terrified of going back to where the pain is because we feel it will be too much, we won’t be able to handle it.
But once we allow ourselves to go there and face/feel it fully, we see that it wasn’t so bad after all. Actually, there’s immense liberation from no longer avoiding it.
After being here for a week I can feel how much I’ve changed since the last time I was here. I feel grounded, clearer, more open. I’m now excited by the possibilities of having a new page in front of me. I’m strangely grateful for my old life dissolving and for the space it created for me to create a brand new chapter.
I still have no idea what it will exactly look like but I’m choosing to trust in the unfolding. One lil step at the time. Staying present and following what feels right.🌞
So, dear one, have the courage to take that next brave step (the one you’ve been putting off/waiting for the “right” moment). It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone but you.
Love you so x